If you were a pizza and I were cheese, I'd melt over you
by Huricain
Summary: Percy has a really pretty tattoo artist and a stupid idea for a tattoo. T for marijuana use.


**I'm a 15 y/o that has never smoked or done drugs and really I'm in completely uncharted territory here which may be a contributor as to why this fic is so painfully bad. Other factors may be that I'm sleep deprived and desperate and that this was written in under an hour.**

 **I own nothing.**

Percy is not a stranger to tattoos. He has a sleeve on his right arm that stretches over his shoulder and down his shoulderblade. The sleeve is made up of various hyper-realistic pieces of art, so he has sat through a significant amount of hours while being tattooed. Naturally, this got to his head and made him think he could face any sort of tattoo job.

Which is how he ended up at his tattoo parlor right before they closed at 10;00 pm on a Thursday night, high off his rocker.

He strode confidently into the store and up to the front desk, where his friend Piper worked.

"I want a tattoo," he told her.

She raised an eyebrow and responded, "Well then it's a good thing you're in a tattoo parlor."

Percy decided not to mention the bakery he had gone to before this that had politely asked him to leave when he asked for a tattoo on his ass.

He nodded once.

Piper looked through her emails before looking back up at him, "You have an appointment with Annabeth this Saturday. Come back then. Preferably not when you're high." She gave him a pointed look.

A miffed look crossed Percy's face. He thought he was functioning really well for someone who had a gram of pot.

"I am not high, I don't even smoke."

"Go away, Percy."

"Percy!" Another voice called from the back. The dark-haired man looked up to see his friend Rachel, a tattoo artist who specialized in New School and Japanese style (or really any style where she got to use excessive amounts of colors), walking toward him.

He walked around the front desk to give her a one-armed hug.

"How have you been?" She asked.

"I've been good, you?"

"Great! I'm working on this super dope thigh piece that…" Percy blocked her out as he looked at the flashes on the wall.

There were works in every style, from Rachel's New School to Percy's cousin, Nico's Blackwork. One of the flashes was the sketch of his own latest tattoo; a neo-traditional raven that ran down the right side of Percy's back.

Taking his eyes off the sketches he had seen seemingly a hundred times over, Percy began to look around the shop.

His cousin Nico was texting on his phone, his station completely cleaned already. His other cousin, Thalia, a versatile artist who enjoyed minimalism and an interesting mix of illustrative blackwork, was cleaning up her station. Leo Valdez, an artist who got his start in Chicano style, was missing, though his station was cleaned. Percy guessed he had left already.

Finally, his eyes landed on the most beautiful woman in the world hunched over a client, tattoo gun running over the client's skin.

Annabeth Chase, a neo-traditional artist and the love of Percy's life. Most of his tattoos were done by here, seeing as his preferred styles were hyper-realism and neo-traditional, the two styles she had an emphasis on.

"...isn't that so cool, Percy?" Rachel's question brought him back to Earth.

"Yeah, so cool," he answered.

Rachel nodded, "I think so too. I'm so excited, he's got a four-hour session scheduled Friday. We're gonna finish up the little Groot then and maybe start on the one-eyed goat, too."

Percy was kind of glad he missed most of that conversation.

"Anyways, I gotta go, I'm meeting some girlfriends at a bar in twenty."

Percy raised his eyebrows, "It's 10 pm on a Tuesday and you have a 9 am appointment tomorrow."

Rachel gave him a blank look, "What's your point?"

Percy chuckled and shook his head, "I'll see you around, RED."

They hugged and she grabbed her keys, rummaging through her purse for some lipstick before leaving.

Percy looked around again to see Annabeth staring at him from her station.

She caught his eyes and looked back down at her client.

"Ay, Neeks! Wanna gimme a tattoo?" Percy called.

"No, I'm meeting Will," he answered without looking up from his phone.

"When? Percy asked while walking over to his cousin.

"Right now," Nico told him.

"It'll take like ten minutes max, dude, I swear," Percy reasoned.

Nico grabbed his bag and left.

"Thalia, my darli-"

"I'm leaving too," she pushed past him.

Percy stood in the middle of the shop like an idiot.

Annabeth was wrapping up her client, looking like she was excited to go home.

Percy really didn't want to ask her to tattoo his ass, but it was a really _awesome_ idea and he wanted it done _today._

He walked up to her and cleared his throat. Her client, a pimply eighteen-year-old boy who had gotten some script on his shoulder flashed him a smile before walking up to Piper at the desk to pay.

"Hey, Perce, what's up?" Annabeth asked as she worked to sterilize and clean her station.

"I want a tattoo that you're really not going to wanna do but it's funny as hell and I'll pay you double if you do it."

Annabeth looked taken aback, then suspicious.

"What is it?"

"A pizza."

She looked even more confused.

"Um," she started, "it's a stupid idea, but, yeah, I'll do it. Where do you want it and what do you want it to look like?"

"Just, you know, minimalist linework, only about the size of a quarter big."

She nodded, "Yeah, I can do that, just let me clean up and we'll get started."

Percy watched as she changed needles and wiped her chair down.

She pulled out a sheet of paper and quickly drew a little triangular slice of pizza with some cheese dripping off the side.

"Like this?" she asked as she showed it to him.

"Yeah, perfect," Percy replied.

She nodded, "Okay, where do you want it?" She started preparing to clean his skin.

He stayed silent.

"Percy?" she prodded, a paper towel in her hand, "Where do you want it?"

He cleared his throat, "My butt."

She looked at him like he asked her what her shit tasted like.

"You want a tattoo of a slice of cheese pizza on your _ass?"_

"Um, no, it'll be pepperoni," he told her.

She glanced at the sketch.

"I have this cluster of freckles on my ass and I want them to be like the pepperoni on the pizza."

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply.

"75," she said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"$75 and I'll do it."

"But it should only be like maybe $20 a the most! And I said I'd pay you double, remember?"

She arched her perfect blonde eyebrow, "$100."

"$75," Percy agreed.

She nodded.

They stared at each other uncomfortably for a while until Percy signed, turned around, undid his belt, kicked his pants off, and pulled his boxer briefs to just underneath his butt. Then he climbed onto the table/chair thing and laid on his stomach.

He could hear Piper wheezing from the front desk.

When nothing happened he turned his head awkwardly to look at Annabeth. Her neck (her wonderful, glorious neck that literally screamed at him to kiss and suck and bite and- nevermind.) was bright red and her face was turned away.

"Annabeth?"

She cleared her throat.

"Yeah?" It sounded strained.

"Are you gonna, um, are you gonna, like, wipe my ass?"

Piper fell out into another round of guffaws.

Annabeth put her head in her hands. For a minute Percy thought something was wrong until he heard small giggles and saw her shoulders moving. He smiled and chuckled along with her.

Once they had composed themselves they got to work. Hesitantly, of course, because she didn't want to touch more of him than she should, but working nonetheless.

"Done," she called after a while.

"Do you wanna go look at it in the mirror or take a picture of it?" She asked him.

He blushed and mumbled that he wanted her to take a picture, handing her his phone.

She chuckled and complied to his request.

He broke down into a fit of laughter when he saw it. It looked exactly like he had imagined it. She laughed along with him, telling him how stupid it was and how he'd hate it one day and that he was the prime example of why people think tattoos are stupid.

It wasn't until he had paid and was looking through his contacts to send the photo to his cousins that he realized he had a new contact under the name

 **Annabeth Chase.**

 **I really am not on drugs. Actually, I'm insulin dependent, so technically I am, but not on, like, methamphetamine or any other opioids. Just lack of sleep. Also, I really wanted to post something because I haven't in a while (whoops) and this is the only thing I have finished. I'll take it down soon, probably, but for now, you have this train wreck of a one-shot.**


End file.
